The success of any marriage lies in the tool called communication. Don’t hope for things to work if you decide to remain silent forever. Your spouse won’t know what is troubling you till you communicate with him. It is also imperative to respect and hear out every single time. As Mumbai-based marriage counselor and relationship therapist Dr Rajiv Anand puts it, “A healthy communication is the most vital nourishment for closed relationships like marriage. Most couples tend to force their thoughts, likes and dislikes irrespective of he/she being receptive to it or not.”
2. Deal with your differences
The wet bathroom floor might irritate you, but ask yourself if dealing with it is a better solution to the problem. “We have to accept that differences are a part of life. The depth of a relationship can be measured by how much we accept each other with all the differences and yet love each other,” adds Dr Rajiv Anand. No two people are alike, and therefore losing your calm is not going to take you anywhere. If you can solve it without too much sweat, great. Otherwise give the person some time. Expecting your spouse to change is maybe too much to ask for.
3. Be friends
Go to any part of the world and you will be glad to discover that all successful relationships are based on friendship. A marriage may seem like a tough nut to crack until the two of you become friends. Talk to each other like pals for a change, and you will notice how much has changed.
4. Space it out
“Can we take a break?” asks your husband. Don’t fret! All he wants is probably some space. Allow him to come back on his own and resolve the issue. Avoid thye accusing glance or he may distance himself.
5. Resolve and make peace
Most couples look for quick solutions after a fight. Making peace with each other can be a task, but don’t ignore it completely. Spare some time from your hectic schedule to hear him out. Rest can wait for the moment. You do not want to crib and complain about the same issue over and over again, do you? Best solution would be to resolve it and move on. In most cases, a delay in solving issues leads to increased differences and fights which can be worse
6. Learn to forgive
It is not easy to forgive the person you hold special in your life. But remember, once you decide to do so, life gets simple. Come on, you are married to this guy and it’s for good. Life is too short to hold grudges,
isn’t it?
7. Dump that attitude
So you think you are right all the time? Well, give it a thought. Today, most marriages end due to ego clashes. Incorporate the word ‘we’ into your day-to-day life. “Ego is connected to a sense of me and mine, and if both partners fight for their own interests, then it is as simple as making way for a separation,” adds Dr Anand.
8. Rekindle that romance
Until yesterday it was your husband who made that anniversary extra special. Next time onwards, take the initiative to design fun elements to spice up your married life. Go that extra mile to make him smile — take him to a movie or plan a holiday for a change!
9. Deal with money matters
Admit you are a shopaholic and that it bothers him when you blow your entire salary on a new wardrobe every month. The same applies to him if he has issues dealing with money. Handle your money-related issues with sensivity. It is not about who is earning the money, but more about how you are spending it. Be gentle and learn to handle the matter with respect and dignity.
10. A little praise goes a long way
Don’t forget to compliment each other with a word or two once in a while. It not only encourages the person to keep the relationship going, but also brings the two of you closer. Having said that, do not fish for compliments every day. A little patience can reward you with loads of surprises.
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