What Girls Really Want To Hear


1. "Do you like what I'm wearing?"
"You look beautiful."
A little bit of ambiguity goes a long way. Leave specific criticisms to her friends. She doesn't love you for your informed opinions on culottes.

2. "Do I look fat in this?"
"Of course not."
Absolutely no other answer should be used here. Don't go off the script. Not even if she's wearing a fat suit.

3. "Can you give me a hand?"
This is your opportunity to remind her why she keeps a shaved ape like you around. You lift the heavy stuff. You unstick that which is stuck. You change the lightbulbs.

4. "Do you love me?" 
"I love you."
They want to hear you say it. Now is not the time to be funny. Avoid "yepper" or "affirmative.

5. "What the heck is your problem?"
"I love you."
Neutralize her attack with affection. If she follows up with, "What the heck do you mean by that?" bail out the window like Benicio del Toro in The Hunt

6. "Which do you like better … this one or this one?"
"That one."
You are a man. Show her you are in charge. State a preference. "I love you and I love the first dress you showed me."